Time Keeps Moving

I wasn't planning on posting again so soon. 
In the last month, three young people of our small, population less than 2000, town have died. The first was a girl who was twenty-four, died in a car accident. Drowned. Couldn't get out of the car, was knocked unconscious. The second was another girl, Tanya, about the same age. She overdosed. Now, just five minutes ago, I found out that a guy in my own graduating class, eighteen years old, shot himself. My heart is hurting. It feels like it isn't pumping fast enough, and is falling in on itself. I feel so bad for the pain he felt before, and the pain his family and friends feel now. I wish someone was there to stop him. To make him feel better. Not to send him to a therapist or put him on drugs. That alone would put him back on the track to off himself. When people commit suicide, I think it is a common misconception that it could be prevented by giving him drugs or sending him to see someone to talk about his problems. He needs support in a way that can't easily be explained. Matt needed support that he wasn't getting. All I can do now is pray for his family. And for a lot of people, we will go to his memorial service, and cry it out. And in a month or so, many people will be moving on. Except for his immediate family and friends. And even with them, even though time will be slower, it will continue moving. It's always moving.
Tick, tock. 
Keep moving along.

UPDATE (5/7)
Last night, around 10 o'clock, I got a phone call that our entire senior class is meeting up at a friend of Matt's house. We stayed up there and talked for hours. We met up at the high school with flowers and candles and chalk at 6:30 this morning. We honored him the best we could. I am exhausted and drained. I guess this is what grieving feels like. 

Moving Along: Part 1

I am very close to graduating high school. In one month and a day, I will be moving on to my summer, and to something that is far bigger than myself. I don't know what that something is, only that it has been there for a long time and has been looming closer and closer. I really don't know what I am going to do. And I know people tell me that it is okay to not know exactly what I want to do, or anything like that, but it is really scary. It is terrifying to see my high school classmates going to a certain college for a certain major, and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. On top of all that, my family is moving back to Michigan after moving the Washington state five years ago. So, now that I have a college set up here in Washington, my parents are trying to move back to be by family. Bah. I'm ranting. Cut me some slack, it's my first post. 
Anyway, I'm an new adult with anxiety. I cheered in high school and I loved it. I have a boyfriend, he is lovely but a continuing mystery as I move right along with my life journey. I have one good friend and I love her. My religion is a big part of my life. If anyone sees this, know that I'm not mental, just a lost soul looking for her purpose. If you ever tune in to this blog, if I continue it, it will be mostly rants and ramblings. I'm just trying to find my way to happiness.